Sunday, March 6, 2011

I Love Her Inner “B”

“There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore, and who always will. So don’t worry about people from your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.”

I’ve known for months “IT” was coming, however, subconsciously I suppressed my change management defense mechanisms. I respect that people have the right to make free will choices. That doesn’t mean that I have to accept them until I’m forced to. From my state of denial I was impelled to mourn her “Out of Office” message last week which stated “you’ve reached the desk of_____I am now retired.” How DARE you do that to me? Yes I am angry. Pissed off actually! BUT I do admire her BOLD courage to lead by example and live according to her intrinsic guiding principles.

Concurrently we arrived at our organization as Clinical Supervisors, in sync we became Managers, and in concert we progressed to the Director level. We actually were in competition for my position. Tiffany maintains that I got the job because I wore pantyhose to the interview. On that note, "Tiffany, you could have at least shaved your legs." Thank you for the extra pair of pantyhose, I'll wear them to my next interview.

We’re both RNs registered through the CNO and she is my “pick brain.” It didn’t matter to us as professional colleagues which nursing theorist we individually adhered to. It could have been Roy, Benner or Rogers for all we cared. For us it was always about the outcome and the achievement of client care goals. Whenever we did our pulse check, we inevitably got the same rate. We could predict pending aneurisms and identify those that would affect cardiac output. Together we managed wedge pressures, and yes at times they required inotropes. Fortunately we never had to start Levophed YET. Some have alluded that Tiffany occasionally gets into the weeds. In her defense and support... that’s the only way one can eradicate noxious weeds.

Our professional relationship morphed into a wonderful friendship inclusive of mutual respect, admiration and affection. She calls her inner bitch “Tiffany.” I adore Tiffany; she keeps our life perspective real. Often more than not at senior leadership meetings I would spew my directives only to encounter “Tiffany.” Her head cocked to the right with her left eyebrow raised, our eyes would lock and her expression said it all...”You are FUBAR”. I was never offended. I did my job; she took her baton and assumed the risk. We mastered comfortable disagreement and have always celebrated our successes. She always had my back and was the first to warn me of the vipers in my den. Ironically during our vision session last week Tiffany’s missing lens blocked the full release of Kaleidoscope prisms. I already miss my colourful protector, shield and defender.

Over the past 10 years we have shared too many days on the road to try to even count. We count them by children days. Mine from the age of 6 reaching the age of 16 and her's from tweenster times to marriage. We have ventured throughout Ontario as well as episodic visits to Nova Scotia, Alberta, and, Quebec. Tiffany has a bucket list much like mine. We have spent hours comparing travel notes and tick lists. Tiffany’s bucket list is much more defined and purposeful than mine. She always teaches me what I need to learn while discovering the world around and about me.

Last year we attended a conference in Banff. Off the cuff Tiffany booked a private chauffer to take us to Lake Louise. While we “bagged off” from the conference that afternoon, Ginger was willing an “Ethics” consultation on her 2 AWOL peers. Do I regret going? No, except for the mere fact that Ginger didn’t come with us! I loved the hairpin turns through the Canadian Rockies, finally seeing the hoodoos, identifying the image of Moraine Lake on the Canadian $20.00 bill and posing at the CN train station as the Queen Mother did in 1939. As we journeyed we were appalled to discover that during WW1 PM Borden enacted the War Measures Act and was responsible for the internment of Ukrainian Canadians. Funny how no one I have spoken to since had ever learned those facts in history class?? Shame on you Borden for violating the rights of settler immigrants! Lake Louise is the closest place to heaven on earth. God lives there. Too bad Tiffany fell on her sweet ass on the ice in front of Him. Together we were declared Haligonians, and, Tiffany we should have taken up that offer from the cool dude with the aviator glasses in Quebec City...;-) just sayin’

We are co-beach bums who love to litter the shores of Lake Huron. So what if she serves me “chilled” red wine as she drinks Pomegranate Martinis that taste more like Buckley's Cough Syrup. It’s the BEING THERE with sand between our toes that matters. She fulfilled my belaboured yearning for Skecher ass tauten thongs... Outcome >>> pedal edema. LMAO and it’s not taut yet.

I already know that Tiffany is 1 of the 5 people I will meet in heaven. Because I know her, I’ve been changed for the better and I’ve been changed for good.

In keeping with the email I received from Tiffany the other day... “Please, please come & stay with me to my future.... on the beach or whatever... where the red wine will never again be chilled :) Beyond words... and no goodbyes”

Tiffany I’m in your now and future whether you like that or not. I need you Gal, after all you’re my “pick brain” and the oxy in my hemoglobin...Meet you at the beach eh.

Cheers to Living Life Out Loud With Ya!

MWAH Sista